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It's nice in life to meet someone who makes you feel special. Someone that insists that you smile often and just puts you in a feel good mood.



I'm glad my journeys on VR have put me in contact with many types of people. I have made a few really great friends, and now I'm working on meeting some new ones as well.



All I got to say is this ole girl right here is pretty stinking lucky. It's nice to know that I'm special enough to someone that he went and bought a phone just so he could text me. Not the most romantic story in the world.. but I'll take it. It's the little things in life that hold the most meaning. I'm just glad it's my time to get those butterflies.

Sometimes I feel like I am so alone in this world. Yeah, I have a great family and friends and an awesome VR family, but sometimes it just isn't enough. I found myself today just filled with tears. I just felt like nothing was going for me. Nothing at all. I wish I knew what happened to my life. I wish I knew where that fiery attitude I used to have as a teenager went.



I worked for 6 years with the public and while on the clock, I had to pretty much change my attitude or lose my job. I have been out of that job for 3 years now, and while I have obtained a little of that attitude back; I'm not the same person that I used to be. Part of my happiness left. I wish I could find it. I need that girl now.



I need that girl who didn't really care if she was adored.

I need that girl who held people close and knew who loved her... she didn't have to be told.

I need that girl who spoke from her heart and never let the thoughts enter her mind first.

I need that girl that wasn't scared.



I need that girl to come back home...

Today has been a very testing day for me. I found out a lot of things that really upset me to the core. I'm already picky about who I chose as my friends as is. So when I put my trust in someone then I find out that is all for total show, it hurts. It hurts bad.



I've never been the most beautiful or had the most confidence, but I am stronger than most take me for. I'm glad I do posses that one quality. Right now, it's just not coming into play.



I just wish that someone special was here. I need him right now more than ever. Yet, the only thing I can do is wait until he returns.

As I'm sitting here this afternoon reading other journal entries and watching Behind the Music on VH1, I felt this calmness come over me. It's something I haven't felt in a long time. Something that is the most greatest feeling to someone when they need it the most. I found the greatest joy in a conversation with a friend and listening to the heartfelt words of Christina Aguilera, my idol.



Sometimes in life we just need a reason to break free and let all the emotions that our hearts has been fighting out in the open. Today is my day. Today is the day that I will be me... no matter what happens. I will let my soul take me where it needs to go. I will not fight it. I will embrace it and be free.



Thank you, SaintoftheDarkestLight, for being here for me. For making me reach deep inside myself and uncover that girl that has been in hiding. You wanted to get to know me. And it took someone being interested in me and my thoughts, my life, and my mind for me to find that girl. I'm so grateful that she is here today. She needed a chance to shine and let her emotions out. ((Hugs))

As I'm sitting here, I find myself wondering about thoughts. Not just my own thoughts and how others would take them, but the thoughts of others as well. I wonder if someone out there is thinking about me. I wonder if I weigh on their mind. Just little crazy sparks of things like that is what I'm thinking about right now.



There isn't any real point to this post. I was just hoping that to someone it would make sense. Maybe even deem a reply.

Today has been such a special day for me! I am so glad things settled down in my life and I found the peace I needed to come back to VR. Things in my life were really hard for a few months.



Anyways, this has been one of the best birthdays ever! I'm so glad I was here to share it with my VR family!